I have a few physical health issues.  I have a few mental health issues.

I don’t like to talk about either.  And yes I do realize that is directly related to one of my mental health issues.  I realize that I don’t like to connect with other people and that talking about my issues could lead to getting support, advice, sympathy and that would lead to more connection.

I get a little annoyed when other people talk about their issues, and their friends are like “awwww….I feel your pain…blah…blah…blah”  I am not 100% sure why I get annoyed.  Some possible reasons are:

I don’t talk about my stuff because it leads to attention so therefore other people must be talking about their stuff to get attention.

I try to deal with my problems alone, because they are my problems, and having help would be weak.  Therefore people who talk about their issues are weak.

Jealousy.  These people have friends who care about them and their issues.  Friends who want to spend time with them even if they are crazy or sick.  People don’t know my issues but most people don’t like me.  (again, I know this is related to my issues, I don’t want people to like me most of the time, but sometimes I do)

A while back I used some chemicals for recreation that seemed to sort of cure one of my issues.  Yesterday I had an incident with that issue.  I realize that using those chemicals also increased my empathy and urge to connect to people, and over time that has decreased.    I am not planning on using chemicals to try to fix this again, because right this second I don’t think it needs fixing.  Who I am now is who I am, and the changes were short term and unnatural.

There was a bit more to this, but it was mostly whiney pointless drivel, so I am not posting it.

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Issa @ LoveLiveGrow
    Nov 04, 2011 @ 03:06:07

    I used to think people who talked about their mental health issues were weak and dramatastic. Now I think me thinking that was just a way to feel superior and distance myself from the reality of my own issues. Now I talk loudly about problems I have that I used to think I didn’t have and that I made fun of other people for having. It helps me feel a little less sad about my issues if I’m just defiantly open about them.

    I do sometimes still get annoyed at other people talking about depression because I’m astounded that so many people say they are depressed and I’m a little shocked and mystified that so many people could really feel this way. I’m sure that they must have Depression Lite and I must be the only person with Super Serious Depression. Because the alternative is just, well, depressing… if so many people feel the way I do.

    Reply

  2. Bindu
    Oct 12, 2012 @ 16:51:48

    Yes, it is good to see you people talk openly about all things happening in the mindspace. It really gets lot of courage to share all your emotions, in a blog, with real names. But sharing is healing. If we cannot put everything in a blog, or talk to a friend, then atleast we should to write down everything and mail to ourselves!! That way we can feel stress free.

    Reply

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