Do you ever have times when you want two things that are completely at odds with each other?

These are two things I want.

I want to get a job as an accountant at a big company.  I want to go to work every day, wear fancy conservative clothes and make lots of money.  I want to have power lunches and be respected by my peers. I want to get my CPA certification.  Over time, I will move up in the company, maybe go to another company, and become a controller or CFO.  I will make more money, I will own stocks.  I might never have kids, I might drift away from my friends and all my relationships will be superficial.  I will be boring.  When I retire I can buy a nice piece of land, garden all day and never worry about money.  I can go to the opera anytime I want.

I want to stay at home, spending my time cleaning, sewing, cooking, and gardening.  I will do a bit of writing on the side and sell some craft projects to make ends meet.  Puck will make lots more money than me, and I will be his housewife.  I will never be wealthy, I will always just get by, but I would be happy with that.  I will only shower twice a week.  I could be a stay at home mom, even home school if that works best for our family. But I will never be rich enough to travel; I will never own a big hippy farm.  I will have plenty of time to learn Chinese, but I will never go to China, for example.  I will have plenty of time to read and be enlightened, but never be respected by my peers.

When I think of both of these things they sounds so good and so bad.  I wish there was a middle.


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Puck
    Feb 17, 2010 @ 15:01:05

    If you have the first, you will be miserable. At least until you retire. There can be a middle, if you take a job that you would actually enjoy doing, maybe just part-time. Or just stay a housecat. 🙂


  2. Issa
    Feb 17, 2010 @ 21:48:43

    “Do you ever have times when you want two things that are completely at odds with each other?”

    Yes. I had a bit of a struggle with this prior to buying The Wallow. On one hand, I liked the idea of living in a van, being a hippie bum, having very little money, and just doing anything, whatever, with no permanent roots. On the other hand, I wanted to have a house in the country to be my own (big) space forever, with gardening, farm animals, babies, etc. Clearly, I’ve chosen.

    But I realized that these things don’t have to be permanent. I could get out of this house if I wanted to, and go back to van living. Also, I think if you really go for the things you think you want, it will often turn out that there really is a clear winner. You could go ahead and get a fancy accounting job (maybe not in this job market!) and give that a go. I suspect that you wouldn’t really like it all that much in the long run, but either way, then you would know.


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